If you're going to slip out for the bar, do it later. The moment to be in your seat for is the **Subho Drishti** during Saturday evening's biye. Meghan is carried in on a low wooden stool and circled seven times around Aritra, her face hidden behind betel leaves. Then she lowers them and they see each other for the first time as bride and groom — the "auspicious first glance." The room erupts in conch shells and ululation. When you hear that sound, cheer. It means she's seen him. That's the photo everyone remembers years later.

Because Bengali tradition times the wedding to an auspicious window — the **lagna** — and for a Bengali biye that window falls in the evening. So our Saturday runs long on purpose: a morning church blessing, a breather in the afternoon, and then the Bengali ceremony itself at 6:30 PM. It's the authentic Bengali hour for a wedding, and it happens to suit an American venue evening beautifully. One practical note: because the ceremony is in the evening, dinner lands on the later side. Come hungry, enjoy the long cocktail hour, and know that the food is genuinely worth the wait.

Short version: wear color, and lots of it. Indian celebrations run bright, and you are warmly invited to join in — a kurta, a saree, a bold suit, a jewel-tone dress all work beautifully. Two gentle asks. Please avoid **white** (it reads as mourning in Bengali tradition) and please avoid **red** (that one's reserved for the bride). Friday's gaye holud and sangeet are the place for your most festive, most saturated looks — yellows and golds for the holud especially. Saturday's church ceremony is dressier and more classic; Sunday's reception is cocktail-elegant. When in doubt, festive always wins. We'd rather you over-dress than under.

Depends on the day, and that's on purpose. Friday's Bengali functions — the gaye holud and the daytime rituals — are largely dry, in keeping with tradition; you'll find a chai counter, nimbu pani, lassi, and a generous mocktail spread instead. The Saturday-evening biye is a sacred ceremony and also alcohol-free. Then comes Sunday. The reception is, among other things, an Irish reception — so yes, there is a full bar, there is a toast (or five), and the uncles on both sides have strong opinions about the whiskey list. Pace yourself across the weekend and you'll make it to the last song.

You'll hear a few Bengali words this weekend. Here's a pocket glossary so nothing feels like a pop quiz: - **Topor** — the tall, conical white headpiece the groom wears; its bridal counterpart is the *mukut*. - **Shakha-pola** — the white conch-shell and red coral bangles a married Bengali woman wears; you'll watch them go onto the bride. - **Alta** — the bright red dye painted along the bride's hands and feet. - **Tatwa** — the decorated trays of gifts the two families exchange: sweets, sarees, and (traditionally) a beautifully dressed-up fish. - **Bou bhat** — the groom's-family reception. On Sunday, that's us, feeding you.

Because we're two people from two traditions, and we didn't want either family to feel like a guest at their own child's wedding. Saturday morning is a Catholic blessing at St. Brigid's — Meghan's parish, her family's church. Saturday evening is the Bengali biye — Aritra's rites, his family's language and fire and conch shells. You are invited to all of it. You don't need to know the choreography, kneel at exactly the right moment, or follow the Sanskrit or the Latin. **Respectful observation is perfect participation.** Watch, cheer when the room cheers, and let both halves of us be fully ourselves.

Your presence — some of you crossing an ocean for it — is genuinely the gift. Truly. If you'd like to do more, here's how it works across the weekend. At Friday's gaye holud, small tokens and sweets are a lovely tradition but never expected; please don't feel you must bring anything to a ritual event. For a wedding gift proper, we keep a short registry (the retailer links live on the Registry page) plus a honeymoon fund toward a trip that ends, fittingly, in Kolkata. A cash blessing is a warm part of both our traditions, too. Whatever you choose — thank you. A great hug and a turn on the dance floor count double.

Fair question — most weddings don't open RSVPs a year out. Ours has a good reason. A big part of Aritra's family is flying in from Kolkata, and a US visitor visa means booking an appointment months ahead, often with a real wait for an interview slot. An early headcount lets us send visa invitation letters promptly and lets everyone lock in flights before the prices climb. So if you already know, please tell us now — it genuinely helps a grandparent get a seat on a plane. If you're not sure yet, that's completely fine; reply when you can, and reach out if you need a letter from us.

Yes — with a little nuance by event. We would genuinely love the little ones at Friday's daytime gaye holud (turmeric, color, and lawn to run on) and at Monday's farewell brunch, which is relaxed and family-first. The Friday-evening sangeet and the Sunday reception run later and louder, so those two we're keeping mostly adults — a chance for the parents in the room to actually get on the dance floor. If you're traveling with kids and want to bring them to everything, just say so on your RSVP; we're arranging a sitter option at the hotel for the late-night events. We'll make it work.

Fly into Philadelphia International (PHL) — it's the closest airport, about 40 minutes from the venue, The Foundry at Valley Forge, depending on traffic. Newark (EWR) can work too if the fare is much better, but plan for a longer drive. We've held a block of rooms at The Foundry's hotel, with an overflow block at a second hotel nearby; the booking details are on the Travel page. On the big event days, a complimentary shuttle loops between the room block and the venue, so you can leave the car — and the parking, and the designated-driver math — out of it entirely. Kolkata guests: there's no nonstop to Philadelphia, so plan on one connection — most flights route CCU → Delhi (DEL) or CCU → Doha (DOH) and then straight through to PHL. Give yourself a comfortable layover, and email us if you'd like a hand with the routing or a visa invitation letter.